I don’t like being called a temptress. This isn’t a compliment. It is a way for men to rescind responsibility for their feelings and to impose shame on me for being myself. I am the furthest thing from a temptress, I imagine watching me consciously attempt employ an alluring feminine tactic would be the equivalent of watching someone trip over their shoe laces and fall flat on their face, chipping their tooth in the process. The opposite of tempting. I am just not cool like that.

I am however, pretty much my unbridled authentic self most of the time. I imagine I am way less attractive when I am not being my authentic self, too. I have this sneaking feeling that it’s the strength in my personality that makes dudes feel like they have to play the blame game because they can’t handle it or unconsciously want to control it in someway since they note the lack of control over themselves.

I imagine it doesn’t make sense to them b/c I don’t fit an idealized stereotype of super hot femininity. I won’t be the hottest female in the room, so it might be confusing to most men as to why there is an attraction (the shallowness of our current culture being another topic entirely). And I’m not saying I’m not attractive. I am aware that I did not get beat with an ugly stick and I feel nicely confident in the way I look. I’m just saying I know my place in an objective sense through our shallow cultural lens regarding beauty. How could I not between all the guy friends and the media images and the socialization? I do, however, feel less confident when I get called a temptress or anything similar.

Sorry for the rant. People in general dislike this shit but I was up early and something came around in my wanderings that made me think of this again. I’ve been stuffing it down for a while, and I just feel like it should be said. I can’t be the only woman that feels this way and why should I hold my tongue if this keeps coming back into my mind and ruffling my feathers?

Calling a real woman a temptress is hurtful. It shows a deep misunderstanding and distrust of her true nature. This is sad for both sides b/c real women are amazing and awesome and authentic. Real women aren’t doing anything but thinking of you when they are with you, and if you are lucky then they think of you sometimes when they aren’t with you. The kicker is, if a woman is actually a temptress, you’re not going to be conscious of it because she is a temptress. She is manipulating. That is how manipulation works. She will have you wrapped up in her web and stung with her neurotoxin and you will be senseless, except for maybe a dull ache in your heart where her poison has set in.

If you have been bitten before, don’t put the blame on someone else. Take responsibility for your part in getting caught in that trap. Don’t go blaming me if you are attracted to me and also don’t think I’m flirting with you just because I look you in the eye, talk to you like a human being, and treat you well. You deserve to be treated well b/c you are a human being but this does mean I’m trying to snare you in some way. In fact, don’t do this to any real women. Be mindful of your words, because words are POWERFUL. Words are the greatest power we have. And be kind. And take responsibility for how you feel, being careful of who you tangle with because there are toxic, manipulative people out there and some of them are attractive women. I know and love enough dudes to be clued in that your brains are actually in your noggin and not your peen, no matter how many societal cliches say differently. Saying guys only think with their cock is another way to pass off responsibility and is hurtful to men. Your peens are very nice but they don’t define or control you. Also, take the time to really identify how you feel. This will help with the responsibility part.